Did you see the “10 year challenge” going around on social media last month? From what I gather, you post a current photo of yourself side-by-side with a photo from ten years ago. I loved seeing some of the photos my friends and acquaintances shared. It got me reflecting on what has changed and what has stayed the same in my life over the past ten years.
I’ve now been teaching and consistently practicing yoga for a decade. One of the definitions of yoga shared by TKV Desikachar in The Heart of Yoga is, “attaining that which was previously unattainable”.
This weekend gave me a moment to really feel and appreciate where I am right now and how my practice has served me on the journey to this snapshot in time. I spent the weekend in the company of a dynamic sangha, sharing what I have learned about practicing and teaching yoga and learning from all who participated. It was an absolute joy and left me feeling so nourished and inspired.
“It” was weekend four of this year’s 200hr yoga teacher training and in-depth studies program! I anticipated the weekend with multiple open-ended tabs in my mind:
What of the weather forecast?
What of the Covid-19 considerations?
What of the devices and technology required for a hybrid learning environment?
Will power hold?
Do I have reliable childcare?
Am I ready to leave on Monday for our travels this month?
And then my car battery died Sunday morning and handed me another open tab. Ha!
Here’s the thing: None of this shook me. A part of me had the thought, “I should be overwhelmed and nervous right now.” And how awesome it was to watch that thought and realize, it’s just not true for me presently! I could see the variables, plan accordingly for what could be planned for and accept that some things just may not have resolution right now.
What a difference from spiraling into feeding the “what ifs” by repeating them and thereby reinforcing the attendant uncertainty! Ten years ago, my capacity was different and I was less steady within myself. “Multiple open-ended tabs” was not something I did well. It was something that would shut me down. Likely I’d have demonstrated the “flight” or “freeze” response of the nervous system in the form of canceling and collapsing. Or I’d have fought through, appearing collected on the outside, but feeling shaky with an upset stomach on the inside all the while.
Today, I’m clear about what my capacity is and I respect it. I also don’t hold myself to an expectation that my capacity is static; I better understand what increases or diminishes my energy, and I know what to do if that “frantic” feeling rises. This change in how I feel on the inside and how I relate and respond to the circumstances that present is an outcome of not very glorious or shiny, yet absolutely beautiful and potent small acts of being with myself honestly, reflecting, resting, and nourishing my body, mind, faith and family.
All this to say there are small things one can do each day to foster the changes desired. While the practices are simple, establishing and sustaining the motivation and discipline to carry them out can be challenging. I’m a fan of helping each other remember the tools we have and helping each other remember to use them.
You can schedule a check-in chat with me if this sounds like something useful to you! I also have a stress management workshop and energy tracing series coming up in March that will help develop these skills and tools.
Is there a change on the inside or outside you’d love to have witnessed and celebrated? Please share away!